id be glad to
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize