Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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