he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
I think I sprained my soul last night
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
