I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
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