Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Randomize
