He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Randomize
