I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Randomize
