im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
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