I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Randomize
