Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
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