I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Randomize
