we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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