it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
