Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Randomize
