3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
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