The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
