whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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