i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Randomize