i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize
