I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
