I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
