it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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