So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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