the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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