THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
