If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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