dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
