just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Randomize
