we're blogging at a bar
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Randomize
