I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
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