small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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