I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize