Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
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