Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
I need moral support for this bender
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
