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What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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