fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
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