he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
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