Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Randomize
