They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
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