Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I just gift wrapped bread.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
