yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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