I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
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