Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
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