I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
