i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
