Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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