he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
So. Much. Porn.
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