The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
Randomize
