talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
