Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Randomize
