Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Randomize
