You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
I think pants incapable of making pants work
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize