so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
