I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
