yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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