I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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