yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
