Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
What drink are we having for lunch?
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Randomize
