If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
We got so high we made milksteak
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
I wear drunk well.
Randomize