I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Randomize
