I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Randomize
