I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
I currently don't understand fingers.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
