Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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