The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
